Finding Home
by kehwie
Summary: Five years ago, a mission went horribly wrong. Vala made a difficult decision to save the team and spent those years building a new life for herself. Now she's reunited with SG-1, but a lot can change in that amount of time. And Vala is left wondering...where is her true home now?
1. Where It All Went Wrong

**Finding Home**

 _A/N: I've been working on this piece forever. I know exactly how it will end, but I got bogged down in the middle-how to get to that ending. I have a better idea now, so I thought I'd start posting the chapters I have done so far. Any feedback is appreciated-it may even help me flesh out that path to the ending!_

 _Way back when, the fabulous Spacegypsy did some beta work on this, so thank you to her for that and for her ideas. However, any mistakes you find are 100% my own._

 **Prologue**

" _Vala, don't do this, don't you_ dare _do this!"_

" _Sorry, darling. Guess I couldn't keep up the act any longer. Never was any good at being a good girl. Surprised I kept it up this long, really." She activated the rings. "Goodbye, Daniel."_

" _Vala, NO!"_

 **Five years later…**

Twirling a long blond strand of hair around her finger, she stared at the computer screen in fascination. A tricky one. Nice. She didn't get many tricky ones.

"Any closer?"

Vala looked up. "No, not yet. Someone did a very good job with this."

"Well, I'm sure you'll get it soon."

"Of course I will, love. That's why they pay me the big bucks."

He chuckled. "Indeed."

That one little word hit her like a staff blast. After five years, it really shouldn't hurt anymore, but sometimes it did. Right out of the blue something would remind her of everything she'd lost, and she'd be left reeling from the pain.

And it really _shouldn't_ affect her like this. Bryce didn't even sound remotely like Teal'c—the timbre of his voice was all wrong. But it was still enough to take her breath away.

No matter. She gave herself a slight shake and forced herself back to the computer screen and the task at hand. No use thinking about the life and friends she'd left behind. Vala had taken a naquadah bomb to those bridges long ago, and there was no way to go back now.

 **Chapter One—Where It All Went Wrong**

 _2012_

What was supposed to have been an easy, simple mission—practically a _vacation_ , Cameron had said, and why hadn't someone slapped him for that?—had gone wrong almost from the instant they'd stepped through the 'gate. One disaster after another after another. By the time they ended up captured by a bounty hunter and sold to a Lucian Alliance operative, no one was all that surprised.

They were already pretty battered when the bounty hunter handed them over and collected the hefty fee. Alliance shoulders tossed them into a holding cell and went to inform whoever was in charge that SG-1 had been contained.

Daniel leaned against a wall of the cell, eyes closed in exhaustion. "So, who's got any ideas?"

Mitchell sagged to the floor opposite him. "Uh, lessee. How long would it take for the _Hammond_ to track us? Sam could come beam us out."

"Was not the _General Hammond_ in a different part of the galaxy, Colonel Mitchell?"

"I dunno—who the hell knows at this point? All these hyperspace jumps—we could be anywhere. But _somebody_ ought to be able to track us and find us."

"But will it be in enough time?" Teal'c asked solemnly. "The Lucian Alliance will not leave us alive for long."

"Eh, they'll want to torture us first. That buys us some time," Cam said.

"Only _you_ would see torture as a positive," Daniel muttered. "You know, it _is_ possible to take that whole eternal optimism thing too far."

"It's always gotten us through before."

"No, I think sheer stupid luck gets us through most often," Daniel shot back.

"We make our own luck," Cam said. "Hey, Vala, you got anything stashed to pick a lock with that the guards didn't find when they took our weapons?"

"Of course." Vala reached down into her bra, smirking as Daniel sputtered and Cameron slapped a hand over his eyes. She began working on the lock, pondering their situation as she did so. She'd overheard a couple of guards talking nearby. Apparently the man in charge of this particular Alliance vessel was named Matthias.

That could be useful. She actually knew a Matthias. He was ruthless and efficient but also too greedy for his own good. He'd worked with her, Keto, and Narain, on the Vandemark job that had gone so horribly wrong.

Vala didn't let herself think about Keto too often. Even years later, his death still hurt.

But Narain still owed her one...and so did Matthias.

If Vala could carry out what she was thinking, all debts would be well and truly paid.

###

(Present day)

As much as Vala missed her team and the SGC in general, she had to admit that she _loved_ New York City.

She felt safe—it was far from the SGC, and Matthias or anyone else who held a grudge would be unlikely to find her here—she didn't have to con or steal just to eat, and she never, _ever_ got bored.

That last part was the best, actually. She adored the constant flurry of people and activity.

So she called herself Val (yes, it was short for Valerie, she told those who asked), and she settled in quite nicely.

Okay, so maybe she missed her friends and her old life, and maybe she wished more than anything that it all could have gone differently, but in the end happiness was overrated. It was enough just to be content.

At least that's what she told herself anyway.


	2. The Betrayal

A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who has already subscribed and/or reviewed. I hope you enjoy this next installment. Also, I own none of these characters.

 **Chapter Two—The Betrayal**

 _2012_

Cameron had been right about the pre-death torture. The Alliance wanted to make examples of them.

Their poor team leader looked almost as bad as he had after tangling with Replicator Merrick on the _Odyssey_.

Daniel and Teal'c hadn't been returned to the cell yet. But Vala could hear Teal'c's anguished roars.

Anything that could make the Jaffa sound like that couldn't be good.

No one had come for Vala yet, and she wondered why. Maybe it _was_ the Matthias she knew, and he remembered his debt to her.

She'd like to talk to him—she had a rather different payment in mind.

One of the guards approached the cell, dragging Daniel in tow. The archaeologist was in similar shape to Cameron. The guard threw him unceremoniously against the wall and turned to Vala. "Your turn. The boss is eager to see you."

Marvelous. Vala was eager to see him too.

Matthias was seated in a grand dining hall, an elaborate meal spread before him. "Ah, Vala, my dear. Do come join me."

Vala took a seat and eyed him expectantly.

Sipping his wine, Matthias gave her an assessing glance. "I never expected to see you with the likes of SG-1. Running some sort of long-game con, are you?"

Could she convince him of that? Get them released and meet up with them later? It was worth a shot. "Something like that, yes. They're worth quite a lot. And although they end up captured a fair amount, none's ever been able to hold them."

"Which is why I have no intention of doing so for long," Matthias said. "A quick kill is far more efficient. And then I'll be catapulted to the very top of the Alliance heap."

"Listen, you owe me. You know you do. And you know that you've let it go for so long that I can pretty much demand whatever I want from you now." No matter how loose the morals of the Alliance and its members might be, there was a certain honor code. Debts were always repaid, and favors were always called in.

"All right then. Make your demands. I have a fair idea what they'll be."

"Let me sell SG-1. I have a contact who'll pay top-price—all that you paid that bounty hunter and more. You'll turn a tidy profit. I'll only take twenty percent."

"I profit far more by killing them. Especially after you take your cut."

"You owe me," she said again.

"So I do. Fine. Get in touch with your contact. And you get twelve percent, no more."

Vala made a show of rolling her eyes. "Oh, all right." She stood to leave. "I'll begin making arrangements."

"Not yet, my dear." Matthias leaned forward. "You see, I don't actually believe you're doing any sort of 'long game.' You're setting your friends free, not selling them off to a higher bidder. And I'll let you do that, because I _do_ owe you, and it's what you've requested as payment. But don't for a minute think I've fallen for it."

Damn. Why couldn't real life serve up villains as stupid as the ones in Tau'ri fiction? "I supposed I should have known you wouldn't."

"Yes. You should have. Think carefully, Vala. I'll release your friends. But you won't be going with them. And I'm going to make _sure_ that in the end they won't have wanted you to. No matter what payment you manage to negotiate for them, it will not compare to the gains I would have made in Alliance standing for their execution. So _you_ will make up the difference."

"How?" She barely got the word out.

Matthias smiled, a cold, calculating smile. "Sit back down. I'll fill you in."

###

Knowing there was no other way out, Vala went along with Matthias's plan. She allowed him to remove her subcutaneous tracker, and she "sold" Daniel, Cameron, and Teal'c to Narain, making sure Narain knew to let them go as soon as they were away from Matthias's ship. "Don't make it look too easy," Vala told her old associate. "But don't really hurt them either. And _let them get away."_

And she made sure her team knew she'd betrayed them. The initial contact with Narain, where she explained the real plan, was done away from the others. But she made a second call in front of them, pretending to sell them to save her own neck, haggling to get the best price. She openly flirted with Matthias, allowing him to touch and kiss her and ignoring Daniel's growing displeasure. Vala also negotiated with Matthias a hefty percentage of his future profits. If she had to join him, he'd damn sure make it worth her while.

Cameron pleaded, Daniel shouted, Teal'c stood silent and disapproving. But in the end they were led to the rings. Narain's ship was in range now. "Sorry, darling. Guess I couldn't keep up the act any longer. Never was any good at being a good girl." Vala's tone was bored and uncaring. Matthias wanted this done properly. SG-1 had to buy this.

Apparently they did. "Vala, _no_!" Daniel shouted as she activated the rings.

And then they were gone. Matthias smirked in triumph. "Nicely done, my dear. I didn't think you could pull it off."

"I've always pulled it off when it mattered," she answered coldly.

"Quite so. I expect you to keep doing just that. I'll enjoy reaping the benefits."

Vala hated his smugness, but for now she was stuck. She'd bide her time until an opportunity to escape arose.

And truth be told, as much as she loved working with the SGC and being part of the "good guys," Vala still had no qualms about lying, cheating, or stealing. She had no intention of staying with the jerk a minute longer than necessary, but it was still kind of fun to put her old skills to use again for a while.

At least she was alive and her teammates were safe. It hurt too much to think about how they must hate her now, but they were _okay_ and that was really all that mattered.

She carefully saved her earnings from the various schemes Matthias had going, but it was about six months before her chance to get away arose.

Vala was meeting a contact on the fourth moon of Torrell. The guy was a ridiculously easy mark. She had him off doing Matthias's bidding far more quickly than should've been possible. But that gave her extra time. She got herself into a high-stakes card game and won enough to buy information.

The information led to a highly successful swindle of an important member of the nobility.

That got her a ship.

Not much of a ship, but she could make it work. Another quick stop to purchase a cloaking device, and she was on her way.

She couldn't return to the SGC, but she could still go back to Earth. For now, that was enough.


	3. Lost and Found

**Chapter Three—Lost and Found**

 _2012_

Although she'd lived among the Tau'ri for years, Vala knew she'd never blend in perfectly with "normal" Earth residents. But New York had a reputation for diversity and acceptance. She figured she'd fit there better than anywhere else.

She slept on park benches for a couple of days then found a shelter.

She remained at the shelter about a week, until they started pushing her to find a job.

That led to about a month of moving from place to place while she tried to figure out how to forge the papers needed for employment. Darned Americans and their insane obsession with a paper trail for every blessed thing.

The odds of running into someone like Sal again should've been pretty slim, but Vala actually found two. The first was a kindly old lady at the third shelter. "What scares you about finding work, honey?" She leaned forward and lowered her voice. "Are you undocumented?"

Undocumented. Was that the term? "Why, yes. Yes, I am."

The woman—Margaret? Mildred?—patted Vala's arm. "Don't you worry about a thing, honey. I'll take you down to Roy's place tomorrow. He doesn't care one bit about that sort of thing. He'll get you back on your feet."

So once again Vala found herself working as a waitress for a big teddy bear of a man. Once again she called herself Val.

Charming customers was easy, and she generally got good tips. She also managed to swipe a few credit card numbers along the way but did nothing with them. Just knowing she had them was enough—a little extra security if she ever needed it.

One day a customer left her $200. Vala stared at it in shock, but fellow waitress Cindy just grinned. "That's Bryce. He does that from time to time. Enjoy!"

Vala promptly bought herself a used smart phone off eBay. She figured having her own internet access would be wise when she started hunting fake ID papers—it might be tricky to pull that off at a public library terminal.

She was bored, and Cindy had told her that Bryce was some sort of investment broker. Curious, she looked up his website.

Less than an hour later she was accessing his clients' account information.

Vala pondered what to do with this information—the possibilities were endless. But in the end, she took the high road and emailed him about his weak security.

His response was immediate. "Can you fix it?"

She did.

###

 **Present day**

"You want me to _what?_ Bryce, I can't do that! No way in _hell_ can I do that!"

Bryce stared at her in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Val! Most people would be thrilled that the President wanted to meet them."

"I'm not most people," Vala said.

"Of course you're not. That's why you can do what most people can't. And now the President wants to honor you for that. Why don't you want to do it?"

"Have you forgotten the _little detail_ that I'm an illegal alien? I could get deported!"

"How many times have I told you it's undocumented immigrant? And you're _not_ anymore, remember? I took care of it. All your paperwork is completely on the up and up." He rolled his eyes. "Besides, after the security breach you just patched, no one would dare deport you. You're a hero! They love you!"

Vala bit her lip. Bryce was her closest friend and ally these days, he had been for a long time, but she'd never told him the whole story—the real story. And she still wouldn't—far better for everyone if she kept her secrets. He'd never believe her anyhow.

But she absolutely could not meet the President. Or go anywhere _near_ Washington, D.C.

How could she get out of this? "Can't you accept the award for me? You can meet the President. You'll love it."

"No, no, I'm not the one who did this! It's your party, Val."

"But no one knows who I am! Not really. I've always used the code name Prometheus for any hacking. Nothing else, just that. You could go to Washington for me. Attend the ceremony. Pretend you're Prometheus."

"Val!"

"Please, Bryce." Vala was not above begging. "Please just do this for me. I'll owe you one. A big one."

Bryce was back to staring agape. "I don't get it. You did something amazing, and you've _earned_ this. I didn't do jack. Why should I get credit?"

"You gave me a chance when you had no reason to. I couldn't have fixed the breach if it hadn't been for the opportunity you gave me years ago."

Bryce sighed, but Vala could see that he was going to cave. "I don't like it. It isn't right."

"It keeps me safe," Vala said quietly. "Please, you've _always_ kept me safe. Just do it one more time."

He'd never be able to say no to that. "All right, all right, fine. I'll do it. I don't like it, but I'll do it."

She kissed his cheek. "Thanks, love. I appreciate it more than you know."

"Yeah, yeah. Get outta here before I change my mind."

###

"Daniel?"

He looked up. Sam stood in the doorway of his office, her expression a strange mixture of apprehension and something that might actually be...hope. "What's going on?"

Entering the office she sat down on the bench in front of him. "You know that white hat hacker who was being honored in D.C. over the weekend?"

"Yeah. Plugged some hole in the government's top secret systems, right? What about them?"

"Jack and I attended the ceremony honoring the supposed hacker. And...well, it's weird." Sam stared off into space for a moment. "Any part of this taken by itself wouldn't mean a thing, but all of it together...it's either her, or it's one hell of a coincidence."

Daniel stiffened. "Her? Her who? What are you talking about?"

They'd never really stopped looking for Vala over the past five years. But it was a big galaxy. Odds of tracking down Matthias were slim to none, and they all knew it.

"You know her who, Daniel. I never would've have imagined she'd have been on Earth all this time. And maybe it isn't really her, but...okay, here's what we've got. Over the last couple of years, the government has been using more and more the services of a white hacker who went by the avatar Prometheus. No other identifier. But the last leak plug was so major that the President wanted to personally thank Prometheus and honor them in person. So Jack and I are at this black tie ceremony. A guy named Bryce King accepts the award and claims to be Prometheus."

"But he...isn't?"

"No way. I talked to the guy. He knows about as much about hacking as I do about knitting."

"Okaaay...so why'd he take the award?"

"Getting to that. He eventually realized he'd blown it, but he kept trying to cover for the real Prometheus, who apparently is determined to remain anonymous. But finally he let the name 'Val' slip and that prompted Jack to do some digging. About three years ago Bryce called in some favors to get an 'illegal alien' official documentation. One Valerie Samantha Daniels, from a town in Queensland, Australia." Sam paused for effect. "The town's name is Mitchell."

Daniel stared at her. "You've _got_ to be kidding me."

"You'd think so, wouldn't you? It's almost too wild to believe. And I have no idea why Matthias would have her here on Earth. So maybe it's just the world's most bizarre coincidence, or maybe this is her way of signaling us. But it's definitely the best lead we've had in years. It's worth at least checking out."

"I want to come."

"We've gotta move quick. This Bryce knows he botched it. And Matthias would know we'll come looking. The address for Valerie Daniels is in New York City. We're beaming in."

###

Vala muttered to herself as she threw items into a bag. Damn Bryce anyway. Okay, so she understood his not being able to keep up the ruse—the man knew nothing whatsoever about hacking—but why in the name of Ba'al had he felt the need to tell her name? The whole point in sending _him_ was so that no one would know about _her_!

But if anyone remotely connected to the SGC put together her name with the avatar Prometheus, they'd come looking. Damn, damn, damn.

She'd known all along that choosing the names she did was foolish. She should've picked something with no connection whatsoever to her former life. Something boring and nondescript and completely untraceable. Like Mary or Jane or Sarah.

But she'd missed everyone so much. It had seemed like a small way to hold on to the best years she'd ever had.

Sentiment was dangerous. Now it could very well bite her in the ass. Vala packed faster.

Not fast enough. She heard the voice behind her as she zipped up the last bag. "So, Val, huh? So pleased to meet you."

It didn't matter that it had been five years. Vala knew that voice as well as her own.

 _Daniel_.

She wasn't ready for this. She'd never, ever be ready for this.

So she kept her gaze resolutely on her bag, unwilling to turn around and see the hatred and disgust she was certain would be in his eyes.

 _A/N: Ah, the band is back together again!_

 _In case you were wondering, there really is a town called Mitchell in Queensland, Australia. Learning of its existence was part of the inspiration for this fic._

 _Thanks again to those who've read, followed, and/or reviewed. I hope you're enjoying.  
_


	4. Revelations

**Chapter Four—Revelations**

She was here. She was really, actually here. Five years, and they'd finally found her.

And she'd been here on Earth the whole time. Daniel shook his head in disbelief, words escaping him completely. So much he needed and wanted to say, and none of it would come.

So Mitchell spoke instead, his grin wide. "Good to see you, princess. We've sure missed you."

That brought her head around. Vala stared at them open-mouthed. "You...you _missed_ me? After what I did?"

Mitchell snorted. "What, saving our asses?"

"I betrayed you! I took Matthias up on his offer and left with him!"

"Yeah, so he'd let us go! You can't have really thought we fell for your little act. Hell, Vala, we all knew you were playing the dude!"

Her expression was stunned. There was no other word for it. Vala looked utterly stunned. "You...you knew."

Daniel finally regained powers of speech. "Yeah, we knew. We've been looking for you all this time."

"You have?" Her voice was filled with wonder, even as she shook her head in disbelief. "If I'd known that...I could've come home as soon as I got away from him? I'd have been welcomed?"

"Of _course_." Daniel strode over to her, cupping her cheek.

She placed her hand on top of his, eyes glassy. "Oh, Daniel."

Enough of this. It had been five bloody _years_. Touching her cheek and her hand just wasn't going to cut it. He pulled her into his arms and held her tight. Maybe if he held hard enough and long enough, she'd stop shaking.

After a few minutes, Mitchell interrupted. "All right, Jackson, quit hogging her. You got first dibs like you wanted; it's my turn now."

Vala laughed and stepped out of Daniel's arms to hug her former team leader. "I've missed you, Cameron."

"Likewise, darlin', likewise." He patted her back.

Teal'c entered the room. "Vala Mal Doran. It is good to see you well."

"Muscles!" She flung herself at him, and he caught her easily. "Where've you been?"

"Securing the perimeter."

That made her laugh. "Of my apartment building?"

"Indeed. We were under the impression that Matthias might be here."

"Oh. Right. No, I got away from him after about six months. I arrived on Earth shortly afterward. I've been here in the city ever since. Cameron, my ship is cloaked not far from your parents' house. I check on it from time to time, but so far no one's bothered it."

Mitchell laughed and shook his head in disbelief. "You are something else, girl."

Vala scrunched up her shoulders in a sheepish shrug and stepped away from Teal'c. "So who else is here? Samantha maybe?" Her tone was hopeful.

"Yep, she's in charge of the _Hammond_ , which is how we got here. However, I'm betting that if we let her know we've found you, she'll put somebody in charge of the bridge and beam herself down here." Mitchell spoke into his comm. "Hey, Sam. We've got our girl."

Sure enough, Sam arrived via white light a few minutes later. "Vala!" She hugged her friend, then pulled away to pick up a strand of long blond hair. "What's this?"

Vala reddened slightly. "Part of my new identity. I've been a blonde the last four years or so."

Sam grinned and patted her back. "It looks good on you."

Now that the others had had their "turn" as Mitchell called it, Daniel reached for Vala again. "Now you know we don't hate you. Will you please come home?"

Vala bit her lip. "Well, there's Bryce. I can't just walk out on him..."

Daniel jerked back like he'd been burned.

She gave him a pleading look. "He's a good man, Daniel. He was kind to me."

"Oh, now _this_ sounds familiar..."

"He was! He gave me a home and a job and eventually even an official identity! He kept me safe, and he kept me from being alone!"

"You wouldn't have needed him to do any of that if you'd have just _come home!_ "

"I didn't know I could!"

"Why on earth would you think you couldn't? Why would you think we'd buy your stupid act?"

She glared but didn't back down. "Do you actually remember that day? Do you remember how furious you were as you yelled at me not to do it? _Yes_ , I thought you believed me! Why else would you have been so angry?"

"Because I was worried about you staying behind with that guy! Because I didn't want you to sacrifice yourself for the rest of us! Because _I didn't want to go without you!_ " Daniel took a deep breath, trying to calm his raging emotions. It must have helped a little, because his next words came out gentler. "We're a team, Vala. We stick together."

"Oh, right, like you did that time with Adria."

Aaaaaand he was right back to riled up. "That was different!"

"Why? Because it was you?"

"Because there wasn't any other choice then!"

"There wasn't any other choice with Matthias either! I _knew_ him, Daniel. He'd have killed us all, as painfully as possible and without a shred of remorse. He knew getting rid of SG-1 would put him right at the top of the Alliance hierarchy. And when I called in the favor he owed me to get you all free, he wanted revenge for losing out on that top spot. That's why he made me betray you and why he made me stay to work for him."

"Yes, and we _knew_ all that!"

"But I didn't know you knew!"

"Kids. Time out." Cam shook his head in fond exasperation. "Geez, you two haven't changed a bit in five years."

"Did you really expect them to?" Sam was grinning.

"Nah, I don't guess so." The colonel's expression turned serious as he looked at Vala. "Hey. I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For failing as your team leader. For you not _knowing_ that we trusted you completely and that you could _always_ come home—that we _wanted_ you to come home. Hell, Vala, we've spent five years searching this galaxy from one end to the other, trying to track down Matthias so we could get you back. Even after the IOA declared it a lost cause and put the official kibosh on it, we were still trying whenever and however we could. But we could never figure out how the guy could actually _keep_ you all this time. We knew you'd've busted out first chance you got." He shook his head. "We...we finally decided he must've just killed you. To learn that you did get away but didn't know just how much you mean to all of us..." He trailed off, his voice cracking. "I'm so, so sorry."

Vala's tears spilled over. "Oh, Cameron." She flung herself at him again.

And Daniel wrapped an arm around her too, and then Sam joined in, and Teal'c stepped forward and enveloped them all.

And they stood there like that, awkward and weepy but grateful to be together again, for a long time.

###

Catching up on the last five years was not something that could take place in public.

So Vala sat between Daniel and Samantha on the couch with Cameron on Samantha's other side. Teal'c took a nearby chair.

Vala told them all about her days with Matthias and how she'd finally escaped and come to New York. She shared her days as a waitress and meeting Bryce and her inadvertent entrance into the world of white hat hacking.

Her former teammates filled her in on SGC gossip and various mission highlights. Cameron had finally gotten up the nerve to ask Dr. Lam out. Now they were married with their first child on the way. Samantha and Jack had a little boy with her blond hair and high intelligence and Jack's dark eyes and sly sense of mischief.

"The President still wants to meet you," Samantha said.

Cameron chuckled. "Yeah, apparently you saved the world or some such thing. I think he wants to hire you full time." He poked her knee. "Tell him no. Tell him you'll freelance around our missions or something."

Vala gaped at him. "Around missions? Cameron, it's been five years. Surely you've replaced me by now."

"We have endeavored to do so," Teal'c said. "However, all our attempts proved unsuccessful."

"Yeah, basically none of 'em ever worked out in the end. Can't say I'm all that broken up about it." Cameron shrugged.

Vala shook her head, eyes filling with tears yet _again_. She wasn't used to being so weepy, but then she'd also never imagined that after five years she could just pop back into her old life like she'd never left it.

Actually, she probably couldn't do that entirely. Daniel sat stiffly next to her, his expression closed off and tense. No way could their relationship be anything close to what it had been then. He'd said he'd missed her, and she had no reason to doubt that, but she also doubted he'd _waited_ for her all that time. Why would he?

And before Vala made any decisions about returning to the SGC, she needed to talk to Bryce. She owed him that much.

Fortunately, the man himself had just walked through the door.

His eyes widened at the sight of so many people. Bryce knew "Val" as a loner with no family and very few friends. In all the time they'd lived together, Vala didn't think he'd ever come home to anyone visiting her, let alone a whole group of people. "Uh, what's going on?"

Vala stood and walked over to him. "Bryce, I want you to meet some friends of mine." She hesitated, then admitted, "Well, family really. This is Daniel Jackson, Samantha Carter, Cameron Mitchell, and ah, Murray."

Bryce had never been stupid. "Daniel, Samantha, and Mitchell? What the _hell_ , Val? Or should I even call you Val?"

"Val is fine. It's close enough to my real name. And I'm sorry, really. But you've always known I had secrets."

"Yeah. Yeah, I did. But I didn't know your name was one of them. I thought you were really Valerie Daniels from Australia, running from something in your past, and that was how you ended up here illegally."

"Except for the name and the Australia part, that's pretty much the truth."

"So do I get to know anything _real_ about you?" Bryce asked. "Your name? Where you're from? And hell, why didn't 'Murray' get a tribute?"

"I would like that answer as well," Teal'c said.

"My best software program is called Muscles," Vala told him. She leaned closer and whispered, "I also named my fish after you."

"I am most honored."

She turned back to Bryce, placing a hand on his arm. "My real name is Vala Mal Doran. Where I'm from...well, you wouldn't believe me if I told you, and it doesn't really matter. But know that I love these people, and I never thought I'd see them again, and if I did see them I thought they'd hate me, but they don't, so everything's good."

Bryce's face softened. "Okay. I am glad things have worked out for you. You know I only ever wanted you safe and happy."

"I don't think I'll ever be completely safe. I don't think I even _want_ to be completely safe. But I can definitely tell you that right now I am very, very happy."

 _A/N: Yay, they're back together! A nice filler chapter before Vala learns that she really, really can't just drop back into her life after five years away. That's a long time, and people change, and circumstances change. But for now, I hope you enjoyed the reunion! :) More to come soon, as Vala gets settled in and they all get reacquainted.  
_


	5. Search for Normalcy

A/N: A million, million apologies for taking so long. I had a demonic time getting the next 2 chapters hashed out. I hope you're all still with me! But I know where I'm going now (yay!), so updates should be a whole lot more regular now-I'm aiming for twice a week. This chapter is sort of transitional; it will kick of the second arc. Hope you enjoy!

 **Chapter Five—Search for Normalcy**

"I'll call you soon," Vala told Bryce as she prepared to leave with her former teammates.

He nodded, eyes red and jaw tight. She knew this was hard for him. It wasn't any easier for her, really, saying goodbye. As thrilled as she was to be reunited with her friends, she did care an awful lot about Bryce. He'd been her dearest friend for so long. Vala hugged him hard, sniffling. He kissed the top her her head. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"I will," she promised thickly. "You too. And thank you—for everything."

"I was glad to do it. You know that."

Vala nodded and kissed him quickly. She'd better do this now, or she'd never manage to do it at all. "Bye."

She hurried to catch up with the others. Daniel refused to even look at her, but Samantha touched her arm gently. "Hey. You all right?"

"I will be." Vala forced herself to smile.

Samantha nodded, giving her a quick one-armed hug. "We'll have a girls' night soon. I've got a bottle of wine I've been saving for the occasion."

"That sounds marvelous."

Samantha spoke quietly into her comm. "Standby. We're going to find a safe spot, then we'll be ready to beam out. Five of us."

Having always been somewhat "hands on" with Daniel regardless of their romantic status, Vala tucked her arm through his. He stiffened, but he'd done that a lot in the early days, so she just hugged his arm tighter to her. "I'm looking forward to seeing everyone at the SGC again."

"Whole lotta people gonna be awfully glad to see you," Cameron said.

"Well, I am pretty delightful. Whatever did you _do_ without me for so long?"

"Hell if I know." Cam grinned at her. At least her friendship with him remained completely unaltered. Their banter felt safe, familiar.

They found an abandoned alleyway, and Samantha again radioed her crew. "Okay, we're in the clear. Go ahead."

The white light flashed, and Vala found herself on the bridge of the _Hammond._

Samantha patted her back. "I'll be right back. I'm going to contact General Landry and let him know we found you and that we're coming in. Then we'll beam down."

"All right, sounds good."

And in a matter of mere moments, Vala found herself back at Cheyenne Mountain. She felt she'd cried a lifetime's worth of tears in the last couple of hours, but she couldn't seem to stop. Her eyes filled yet again as she looked around her.

She was home.

###

The next several days passed in a blur. Vala sat in meetings— _so_ many meetings. Honestly, it took more meetings to return to the SGC than it had to join in the first place. First, it was with General Landry, who handed her a fat stack of paperwork to sign, accompanied by a lecture. "When we made you a full member of SG-1, Ms. Mal Doran, it was because we trusted you. We believed in you. That hasn't changed and isn't going to change. I would prefer you not pull a stunt like that again—we don't like leaving our people behind. But if it were to become necessary, you just get yourself back here as soon as you can." His gruff voice trailed off, and his expression softened. "Welcome home. It's good to have you back."

Then it was the IOA. That pretty much topped the list of _not fun_. They weren't content with one meeting; they wanted a whole string of them. Long, drawn-out, boring-as-hell meetings. Just when Vala thought she'd rather be back with Matthias than endure one more minute in the bureaucrats' presence, they finally declared themselves satisfied. They also assigned her new duties checking SGC security systems. General Landry gave her a big, shiny office to go with the new job. It was nice—okay, it was _very_ nice—but she'd be lying if she said she didn't miss sharing with Daniel.

But she stayed busy, reuniting with Walter and Siler and Bill and Carolyn and a host of others she never dreamed would even notice her absence. Jack O'Neill even visited for a few days. In addition to new office space, the general assigned her to new, nicer quarters. Daniel and Samantha had saved all her stuff, and Jack and Cameron helped her move in.

She met the President. _That_ was quite the experience. He was a delightful person, really. Incredibly fun to flirt with—he got so _flustered_.

And through all of it, she didn't see Daniel.

Well, that wasn't exactly true. He was there in meetings that involved the whole team and in the commissary with Cameron and Teal'c. But he seemed determined to avoid ever being alone with her.

Vala missed him terribly. She'd come back for him, left Bryce for him, given up _New York_ for him—didn't he appreciate it? Wasn't this what he _wanted_? It sure had been what she'd wanted!

And they'd been friends long before they'd ever been lovers. Daniel had been her conscience, her rock, her cheerleader, her confidant (even when she'd been convinced she needed none of those things). He'd had seemed happy to see her back in New York. He'd hugged her and held her and told her he missed her. She'd come home with _him_ —with the rest of the team as well, but let's be honest—mostly with him. Even if Daniel didn't want to be involved romantically with her anymore (and she could understand that, really), weren't they still friends? Still family?

She wasn't so sure anymore.

Well, no time like the present to find out. Vala headed to his office.

She paused in the doorway for a moment, just taking it in. It still looked much the same, with books and notes and artifacts piled on every surface and Daniel hunched over in concentration. How many times had she watched him in exactly that position? How many times had she sat here, reading a magazine or doing her nails, bored out of her skull but wanting to be with him?

Her new job wasn't boring, and she was grateful for that. But she still wanted to be near Daniel Jackson more than anything else. It sucked that her office was so far away. It sucked even more that he seemed determined to ignore her very existence. Finally giving up on the idea that he'd ever emerge from his work bubble and notice her standing there, Vala rapped on the doorway. "Hello. Busy?"

Daniel's head shot up. "Vala! Um. Hi. No, I'm—no, not really. Uh...come in."

The man was a linguist, and Vala had never known him to stumble over words like that. What in the worlds was _wrong_ with him? She entered the office. "What are you working on?"

"Oh, some translation work from a recent mission. Nothing that will save the galaxy or anything."

"Why, Daniel, it must be a whole week now since you've saved the galaxy. You're slacking."

He chuckled, and she tried to remember the last time she'd heard him do that. Certainly sometime before that damn mission.

Vala loved to hear him laugh.

Her gaze flicked around the room again and fell to the picture of Sha're, still in its place of honor. Briefly she wondered about the woman who still inspired such devotion after all these years. What would it be like to be loved like _that?_ Certainly Daniel wouldn't be ignoring Sha're if she'd returned, even after all this time.

No use dwelling. Vala gave herself an internal shake and wandered into the room. "It looks the same."

"Well, not _exactly_ the same." To Vala's delight, Daniel's voice actually took on a teasing tone. "Your magazines and nail polish aren't cluttering up the place."

"I'll have to bring some over. Must've been terribly hard to work without them."

Daniel muttered something under his breath. Vala started to ask him to repeat it, but before she got a chance he was speaking again. "So how's your new office? You like it?"

"Oh, sure. Lots of space—very posh. Samantha said she'd help me decorate it. I don't suppose you'd want to help too?"

And Daniel was right back to awkward and stuttering. "Oh, ah, well, maybe..."

Vala rolled her eyes. "Forget it, Daniel. Don't put yourself out."

He sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry. Really. I don't...I just don't know how to do this."

That caused her to scrunch up her face in confusion. "How to do what?"

"This. Us. I don't know how to do us anymore."

Hurt sliced through her, and she forced a hollow-sounding laugh. "Surely it's not that complicated. We're friends, aren't we? I mean, we were friends before...before everything. So why can't we be friends again now?" She wasn't surprised he no longer wanted anything beyond friendship with her; she didn't think he'd ever _really_ wanted anything more in the first place. It had just kind of happened. They'd almost fallen into it. No doubt he'd come to his senses during the years apart. "I still...care about you very much."

"I know. I...care about you too. It's just...kind of hard to get that rhythm back, you know? We were friends, and then we were...whatever we were, and then you were gone. And now...now I don't know how to do it right."

Taking a chance, Vala moved closer to him. "I don't know either, darling. But I don't think we'll figure it out by you avoiding me."

This time Daniel was the one who released a humorless laugh. "You're right. Of course you're right. I'm sorry, Vala." He hesitated then touched the side of her face. "I'll do better. Starting now. How about some coffee?"

She grinned playfully. "You can do better than that, Daniel. How about lunch? I'll even buy. Make up for all those times I mooched off of you."

He laughed again, genuinely this time. "One lunch wouldn't even begin to do that."

"You're right. And I'll never be able to pay it all back anyway, so why bother? You can treat."

"I think I've been had."

"You know you've missed it."

His expression softened. "You're right; I have." He gave her an awkward sideways bump. Not quite like the nudges of days gone by, but he was trying. "And just for that, I _will_ treat. Come on, I'll take you to that sushi place you like so much."

Feeling hopeful, Vala followed him out the door. Surely this meant everything would be fine now. Surely everything would return to normal.

It had to, right?


	6. Situation Normal, All Fouled Up

**Chapter Six—Situation Normal, All Fouled Up**

In spite of his pretty-sounding words, Daniel wasn't around any more often over the next few days. By this point, Vala had careened past frustration, disappointment, and hurt. She was bloody _furious_.

It didn't help matters that she was slowly going wonko.

After four and a half years living in New York, after being able to go wherever she wanted whenever she wanted to do whatever she wanted, it was quite the blow to be stuck back underground like some kind of damn prisoner. Why should she need permission to leave the base? She wasn't a child. She hadn't been a child for a very _long_ time.

She was restless and bored and just wanted to go _somewhere._ Somewhere with green grass and blue sky and fresh air and sunshine. Somewhere that _wasn't_ solid gray walls keeping her trapped. Even the long weeks on the _Odyssey_ hadn't driven her to this level of hut fever.

At least SG-1 had a mission coming up. That would help as far as getting her off base. But it was her first mission with the team in five years. Between that fact, the tense situation with Daniel, and the overall confinement, Vala didn't think there were enough words in _any_ language to describe the conflicting emotions roiling around in her gut.

She glared at the computer screen on her desk. Clearly she wasn't getting any work done now. Grumbling under her breath, she headed for the commissary.

Cameron was there with Dr. Lam. Or would it be Dr. Mitchell now? Dr. Lam-Mitchell? Oh, whatever. Carolyn. Vala plopped in the seat next to her and spoke in a chirpy tone. "Hello, you two. How are you today?"

"Better than you are, it would seem," Carolyn said.

Vala flashed her biggest, toothiest smile. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

Carolyn raised an eyebrow and pinned her with an I-am-so-not-buying-your-bullshit look. "I'm sure that you do. What gives?"

Vala didn't answer, and Cameron leaned forward. "C'mon, princess. Talk to us. I may be a few years out of practice, but you know I'm good at solving all your problems."

That made her laugh. Oh, she'd missed him! "Why, yes, Cameron, you solved every single one of them."

"Hey, that's how _I_ remember it." He grinned at her. "Now come on. Spill."

"I want to live off base." It might not actually solve _all_ of her problems, but it would at least be a start.

Cameron whistled and sat back. "Damn, girl, going for broke right outta the gate, dontcha think?"

"You _asked_. What's the matter? Don't you think General Landry will allow it?"

"General Landry's not your problem. He'll go for it for sure. The IOA? Them I'm not so sure about."

Carolyn bristled. "You must be joking. Why would they care? There's no reason to say no other than to cause trouble."

"Honey, have you _met_ the IOA? Causing trouble is what they _do_. And they had a helluva mess when T tried to live off-base years ago. I don't think they're going to jump at lettin' another off-worlder out in the open." Cameron shrugged. "Still, that was ages ago. And you lived in New York for four years with no incidents. It doesn't hurt any to ask. I'll talk to the general. And maybe see if I can get O'Neill in our corner"

"Thank you, Cameron."

"Yeah." Suddenly he groaned and dropped his head. "Aw, man, this'll mean I've gotta move all your crap _again."_

"Sorry, that's the price you pay as an expert problem-solver," Vala said innocently. Cameron shot her a dark look while Carolyn smirked.

###

Cameron had said that the ill-fated mission years ago would be a vacation and had been proven disastrously wrong. No one said anything this time, but the newly reunited SG-1's first mission turned out to be the easy holiday that their last one had not been.

Vala loved every minute of it. She sipped overly sweet homemade wine, danced with villagers around a bonfire, and listened to Daniel carry on philosophical discussions with the various leaders. It was _perfect._

The good feelings carried her through the next few days. And when General Landry informed her that her request to live off base had been approved, Vala thought she might just burst from happiness. She called Bryce and nearly broke his eardrum squealing over the phone. Cameron promised they'd all celebrate with a dinner out soon.

Now she walked into Daniel's office. It still seemed weird not coming here every day, and she still missed him with an almost physical ache. Funny how it was much harder to deal with missing him here at the SGC than it had been all those years apart.

"I need your help," she told him.

He looked up. "Okaaay..."

"I've gotten permission to live off-base. I need to find an apartment."

"And you need me for that why?"

"I need to actually _see_ the apartments, Daniel! And it might help to have someone who knew what to look for as far as lease agreements. I never had to deal with that in New York. I just lived in shelters and then I moved in with Bryce."

"Right." Daniel grimaced. "I'm awfully busy, Vala. Can't Mitchell do it?"

"He's helping as much as he can, but you might recall he does have a rather pregnant wife who takes a _little_ of his time."

"Oh. Yeah. Well..."

Vala handed him a printout. "We've narrowed it down to this list. If you could drive me to these places?"

"What, _now_?"

"As soon as possible! Cameron said the good ones go quick. And General Landry already okayed it."

"Of course he did." Daniel sighed heavily.

Why in the worlds did she keep trying with him? Could he possibly make it any more plain that he didn't want her around? Honestly, it hadn't been this bad back when they had those blasted kor mak bracelets on. "Forget it. I shouldn't have even asked you. Go back to work, and I'll find an SF to drive me. Sorry to bother you."

"No, Vala, wait. _I'm_ sorry." He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I told you I didn't know how to do this."

"I don't actually think that's the problem, Daniel. I think you don't _want_ to do this. And I'm not going to force you to be my friend. Not this time."

"You didn't force me last time! And I _know_ I'm being an ass. And I really am sorry. Come on, let's go look at apartments."

She eyed him suspiciously. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Mitchell's right; the good ones go fast. Hand me that list again, and we'll plot a route."

Still not convinced, she put her printout back on his desk. Daniel studied it, researching locations and making notes. Finally he looked up. "All right, let's go. Just let me grab coffee on the way."

That made her smile. At least some things didn't change.

###

The first apartment they saw was a little too small and run down. The next one had already been rented. Then they saw an adorable little house for rent that might have been perfect...if Vala could afford it. Unfortunately, she didn't think she could. The one after that seemed to falling completely apart. Another apartment was too far from the mountain. Daniel could sense Vala's growing frustration. "It shouldn't be this hard," she muttered unhappily.

"It's always this hard," Daniel said. "Finding the right place is a royal pain the ass. Come on, I'll buy you lunch, and then we'll tackle a few more on your list. But, Vala, you probably aren't going to find something in one day!"

Her lower lip thrust out in a pout. "But I wanted to choose one today!"

"Why? So you could rush into something and then be stuck with a place you hate and a lease you can't get out of? Not a good idea."

The pout deepened. "But I might not be able to come looking again! I barely talked you into it today! And Carolyn's apparently building a nest, so she and Cameron don't have much free time."

Daniel sighed, realizing again just how much his reticence had hurt her feelings. He didn't bother to correct her turn of phrase. "I'm sorry for how I acted. I promise I won't be such a grump the next time you need to go house hunting. Now come on. I'm hungry."

To his relief, Vala tucked her arm through his. It felt like old times. He tried not to think about all the reasons it was a bad idea to let her do that. For a few minutes, he just wanted to enjoy her closeness. For a few minutes, he wanted to forget the last five years and all the things that had changed between them.

He took her to King's Chef Diner for lunch. Vala had developed an affinity for diners after Sol's. They had been making the rounds through various diners in the area, and he'd always enjoyed her childlike excitement far more than the food.

But today she spent most of the meal frowning at her list of potential rentals. Wanting her feel better, Daniel said, "How about we look at Cobblestone Ridge and Cheyenne Creek next? And maybe the Willows. Those are all fairly close to the mountain. And the prices aren't bad. There were even a couple of two bedroom places available."

"Okay." But she sounded far too subdued for Daniel's taste—not at all his exuberant Vala.

Not that she was really his Vala anymore—she hadn't been for a long time now. Biting back another sigh, he stabbed his food with the fork.

After lunch Vala made a liar out of him by finding a perfect two-bedroom apartment at the perfect price and perfect location. Daniel couldn't decide if he was amused or exasperated. Only Vala would have such luck.

He helped her look over the lease, which seemed fairly standard. He tried (unsuccessfully) to keep her from haggling with the apartment manager. She didn't get her monthly rent lowered like she wanted, but she _did_ get her deposit reduced. He admitted to feeling a glimmer of pride over that— _that's my girl._ Eventually Vala signed her name and paid the security deposit and made plans for moving in.

The manager left them, and Vala did an excited sideways bounce. "Look at it, Daniel! Isn't it beautiful?"

He watched her twirl happily. "Yeah. Yeah, it is."

Still beaming, she launched herself at him. For a moment he was too stunned to respond, but he recovered quickly and wrapped her in a congratulatory hug.

This was dangerous territory. He knew it, and he still allowed it to happen. He wasn't her Daniel anymore, she wasn't his Vala, but he'd missed her—missed this—so damn much. He closed his eyes, briefly savoring the closeness before she pulled back.

She did so a moment later, her eyes still shining. "Thank you, darling. I know you didn't want to come, but I'm glad you did. I love this, and it seems...right that you were with me."

It did seem right. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

Daniel was never a hundred percent sure what happened next. Vala placed a hand on one side of his face and stretched forward—probably to kiss his other cheek. That seemed reasonable. But he turned his head at the wrong (right?) moment and caught her lips with his instead.

It was like coming home. He slid his hands up her back, pulling her closer. She made a soft little noise in the back of her throat, and he was a goner. He deepened the kiss, tongues tangling, her hands fisting in his hair.

He heard a sound off to the side and came to his senses enough to pull back. Vala either didn't hear the sound or didn't care; she began working her way along his jaw and down his throat, kissing and nibbling. His eyes drifted shut again. They couldn't do this, he needed to stop it, but—oh, hell, how was he supposed to do that?

"Vala." The word came out as a croak. Daniel cleared his throat and tried again. "Vala. Honey, please."

"Mm." She had found his pulse point and nipped lightly. "Please what, darling?"

"We have to _stop."_

"Why?" Her lips were back at his, soft and tantalizing. He groaned and lost the battle again. This time their mouths almost collided, painful and bruising. Vala hitched up a leg, pushing herself closer. She was going to kill him, he just knew it. He'd spontaneously combust any minute now. Calling on every ounce of willpower he possessed, Daniel pulled away again. "Vala, stop."

"Why?" she repeated, her voice low and breathy.

"We can't _do_ this."

"Oh, but I've _missed_ this, Daniel."

"I...missed it too. But Vala, we can't just pick back up where we left off. We aren't the same people we were then. We aren't together anymore. And we aren't...free. We _can't_ be together anymore. You know that. You know this is all kinds of wrong."

Something froze in her expression. "Oh. No, no, of course. Of course you're right. I'm sorry, Daniel. I just got...carried away."

"We both did," Daniel said. He took a deep breath and tried to think of something, anything he could say to make this better. Nothing came. Words failed him right when he needed them most.

Vala flashed that too-bright smile he'd always hated. "Well, then, let's head back to base. We can tell the others the good news and start planning my move-in day."

Her voice was all wrong—cheerful, chirpy, yet brittle. Daniel hated it, hated that he'd hurt her feelings, hated that they'd lost control like that. Just swept up in the moment, and only for a moment, but just look at what it had done.

This was why he'd stayed locked in his office all the time. He was avoiding _this._

The ride back to base was silent, the tension hanging thick and heavy in the air. Daniel could almost taste it. He and Vala had bickered and bantered and sometimes raged. They'd laughed and joked and bumped and nudged. They'd kissed and caressed and made love, sometimes tenderly, sometimes explosively.

Never once in the years they'd known each other had they been awkward with other. Even in the early days, when he'd thought he despised her, it had never been _awkward_.

This sucked. So much.

They arrived back at base, and Vala finally spoke. "Thank you for helping me today, Daniel. I'm sorry for how it ended. I wish...I wish things could be different."

She was gone before he could tell her he wished the very same thing.


	7. Friends

_A/N: Again, so sorry about the wait! But we're winding down; I think maybe 2 more chapters should wrap this up. And I solemnly swear that unless I'm struck dead suddenly, I WILL finish this fic! :)_

 **Chapter Seven-Friends  
**

True to his word, Cameron arranged a celebratory dinner for Vala's new apartment. "We'll do a housewarming party, good and proper, when we get you all moved in. But this weekend we'll just hit Dickey's for some grub and enjoy the down time."

Cameron was such a sentimental softie, Vala thought with affection. Dickey's Barbecue Pit was where they'd gone to celebrate her making the team all those years ago. Now they could celebrate another milestone there.

Vala did not ride with Daniel to the restaurant. She rode with Cameron and Carolyn, feeling very much like their child in the backseat. She missed Samantha ferociously, but the colonel was back on the _Hammond._

Far more people showed up at the restaurant than Vala had expected. She'd known the team would be there. And Carolyn and General Landry. But she hadn't expected Walter and Siler and Dixon and Bill. Teal'c had even managed to get Ishta there somehow.

And Daniel arrived, a cute and charming redhead in tow.

Well, that explained a few things, didn't it? Vala swallowed hard and turned away so he wouldn't see her face. She didn't even care who the mystery chick was. It didn't matter one bit.

The lie tasted bitter. She took a swig of beer to wash away the flavor.

Teal'c placed a hand on her shoulder. Where had he come from anyway? He'd been over with the Mitchells, Ishta, and Walter last time she looked. "I am sorry, Vala Mal Doran. But five years is a very long time."

"I know that, Muscles. I lived it! And I lived it thinking that I'd lost everything and you all hated me."

"I know. And like Colonel Mitchell, I deeply regret it. We failed you as teammates and as friends. But we also lived those years. And we lived them in constant worry about your safety until we eventually concluded that you'd been killed by Matthias."

Against her will, her gaze drifted to Daniel and his ginger companion. "Is that when he hooked up with her?"

"What are you smoking, girl?" Cameron now joined them. "Jackson never hooked up with anybody. He spent the past five years pining over _you_. And he was the one always insisting that you weren't dead, that you'd eventually come back just like you'd done all the other times. I don't even know who that chick is, but I promise you she's never showed up with him at anything before."

"They seem pretty comfortable with each other," Vala said.

Cameron shrugged. "All right, so they know each other. Maybe she's a linguist or archaeologist or something. Hell if I know. I'm just sayin' she's not his girlfriend or anything."

"We will all find our footing again," Teal'c said. "You must be patient, Vala Mal Doran."

Vala snorted. "Patience has never been a virtue of mine, Muscles. You know that."

"I am well aware. But I do believe your patience will be rewarded."

That made her giggle. "Now you sound like that food guy you and I used to watch."

Teal'c's lips twitched. "Indeed."

"Speaking of food, let's quit yakking and eat." Cameron slung an arm around Vala's shoulder. "C'mon, come sit with us and don't even worry about Jackson and his mystery lady. It's probably his cousin or something anyway."

Vala doubted that very much, but she allowed herself to be pulled over to Cameron's table and settled in next to General Landry and handed another beer.

Unfortunately, she had a clear view of Daniel and his "friend" from here. No matter what Cameron said, Vala _knew_ Daniel. He was completely at ease with this girl. This was no first date. And certainly no cousin. Cameron was a moron. Did Daniel even have cousins that he kept in touch with? She was pretty sure he didn't.

Vala poked at the ribs on her plate. "Patience," Teal'c's voice rumbled next to her ear. "Daniel Jackson will 'come around.' But you will feel much better if you quit staring at him now."

"Do you know who she is?"

"I believe Colonel Mitchell is correct, and she is a linguist."

Nodding morosely, Vala shoved a bite into her mouth. Not for the first time, she wished Bryce were here.

But more than that, she wished she'd come back sooner. Before things had changed so much. Before Daniel had given up and moved on. Before he'd had a chance to find someone else.

###

One couldn't live the life Vala had and not have nightmares. They just came with the territory. Not every night, not even every week, but sometimes.

One also couldn't live the life Vala had and be a loud sleeper. There were too many situations where being noisy would've gotten her killed. So she never thrashed or screamed when the nightmares came.

But she would often wake up cold and shaking.

Daniel always knew, and he would pull her to him and wrap himself comfortingly around her, encircling her in his warmth. Vala usually slept peacefully the rest of the night.

From time to time Vala bunked with Samantha on missions. Samantha also picked up on the nightmares. Her response was to sit up for hours with Vala, talking about all sorts of random things—old missions, her childhood, past romances. Vala loved listening; she couldn't even imagine having lived Samantha's life, but hearing about it was fascinating. And eventually she'd fall back asleep to the sound of her friend's voice, and no further nightmares would come.

Tomin actually thought her shivers were physical and would pile extra blankets on her or go add wood to the fire. Neither of those things helped all that much.

Bryce rubbed her arm soothingly and tried to get her to talk about the dreams. The last thing in the worlds Vala wanted to do was _talk_ about any of it. But Bryce's heart was in the right place, and she knew it.

None of the other people Vala had shared a bed with ever noticed her troubled sleep.

Now Vala lay awake, trembling with cold and hating that this was even still an issue. You'd think this many years later the nightmares would eventually stop.

She pondered phoning Bryce, but their last few conversations already had him worried about her. A phone call in the middle of the night would definitely freak him out.

In a couple of weeks she'd be in her new apartment, and she could probably find an all-night bar or nightclub or diner nearby to hang out on nights like this. She'd done it often enough in New York. But for now she was still on base, restless and jittery.

Wondering if Teal'c might be up for a movie night-they'd had plenty of those over the years-Vala slipped out of her room and down the hall toward the Jaffa's quarters.

Just her luck-she bumped into Daniel in the hall.

And his little red-haired friend. Even better.

Pasting on her biggest smile, Vala said, "Working late, darling?"

"Vala!" Poor guy-he looked so startled. "What are you doing up at this hour?" He frowned suddenly. "Are you still...not sleeping well?"

The rat had almost outed her secret-sure, the team knew of her nightmares, but there was no reason for Miss Cute Ginger to know such personal information, girlfriend or not. Vala glared briefly, but Daniel _had_ caught himself, so she let it go and spoke in an airy tone. "Oh, most of the time I sleep just fine. Just restless tonight. Thought I'd see if Muscles wanted to watch a movie."

"I'm sure Teal'c wouldn't be awake this late." Cute Ginger's words were laced with disapproval. Who'd asked her opinion anyway?

"He doesn't mind being woken up for a good movie." She knew she sounded clipped, but Vala couldn't bring herself to care.

"But we can let him sleep tonight," Daniel said, almost to himself. He turned to Cute Ginger. "Ah, listen, I'm still wired from that last cup of coffee, so I'm going to be up for a while. But you go on to bed. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

Cute Ginger frowned. "If you're still going to be working, I can help…"

"No, no, I appreciate the offer, but I'm done with work tonight. Thanks for your help, and we'll look at that next section of the legal code from P5X-218 tomorrow."

"Okay…" Cute Ginger sounded doubtful but left. Daniel turned to Vala.

"All right, when did the nightmares start up again?"

Arg, he was so infuriating! Just demanding answers like he had some sort of right to them. Well, he _didn't_ , and he could shove right off with his smothering need to fix her sad broken self. "Don't worry about it, Daniel, it's fine."

"It's not fine, Vala. You're wandering the halls at 3 a.m. And I know Teal'c really doesn't mind if you wake him, but I'm already up so you may as well talk to me."

"I don't _wish_ to to talk to you, Daniel. Not about this."

"Fine. We won't talk about it. But come on, I've got some of those chocolates you like stashed in my quarters, and I can watch a movie just as well as Teal'c."

Her brows lifted. "Really, it's not necessary…"

"Did you even hear me about the chocolate? It's the good stuff like Sam got you for Valentine's Day that year. I might even have a bottle of fine Kentucky bourbon Mitchell gave me for Christmas."

He really was trying, and maybe this was what _friends_ did. After all, Samantha had supplied her with chocolates over the years, and Muscles did sit up and watch movies with her whenever she wanted him to. So Daniel doing the same was just him keeping his word and trying to be her _friend_.

She could at least meet him halfway. She tucked her arm through his and flashed her best smile. "All right then, darling. We'll leave Muscles in peace, and I'm all yours."

Vala thought she saw something flicker in his eyes, but it was probably just her imagination-the lateness of the hour playing tricks on her brain.

But as they settled in her quarters and Daniel wrapped his arm around her, dispelling the chill, Vala couldn't help but think it didn't _feel_ very friend-like to her.


	8. The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of

**Chapter Eight-The Stuff Dreams Are Made of**

Daniel stumbled to his office the next morning, bleary-eyed and feeling a strange sense of _deja vu._ How many times had he spent his nights comforting Vala (as much as she'd let him anyway) following one of her nightmares? He'd long since lost count

It had even been the impetus for their relationship all those years ago.

 _2009_

Over the years, Daniel had grown accustomed to Vala scampering into his office late at night (or the wee hours of the morning). He'd never really thought too much about it, although her askew sleep mask and tousled hair amused him and her sometimes random outbursts annoyed him. But it had taken him _far_ too long to realize why she kept showing up in his office at all sorts of crazy hours.

But shortly after they returned from Baal's extraction, Daniel learned the reason.

He'd shot up from the desk that night, breathing hard. His eyes darted around.

Nope, just a dream. He was still in his office. He'd fallen asleep slumped over his desk...again. He leaned back in his chair in relief.

As if the fact that Vala never gave him a moment's peace during his waking hours wasn't bad enough, now she had to go and invade his dreams as well.

He didn't figure he'd be able to get any more work done tonight, so Daniel straightened up his books and notes and headed for the door.

He met up with Vala in the hallway. Embarrassment over the rather intimate subject matter of his recent dream made him snappish. "What're you doing here at this hour?"

Her eyebrows rose. "Have you forgotten that I _live_ here, darling?"

Oh. Right. Technically she probably had more business being here than he did given how late it was.

"You finally done for the night?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. My brain's done anyway. Thought I'd grab some sleep. You headed to bed?"

An odd look flickered in her eyes. "No, actually, I'm headed to Muscles's room."

Daniel blinked in surprise. He certainly hadn't been expecting that answer. "Huh. Why's that?"

"Movie night."

"You're starting a movie night at _this_ hour?"

The strange expression skittered across her face again. "Yes."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Don't start, Vala. Seriously, why?"

"Why shouldn't we? We're both here on base. We have movie nights a lot."

"I know that, but I didn't think you started them at 2 a.m.!"

Her eyes flickered again. "Well, sometimes we do. Now excuse me. I need to get the snacks and get to Muscles's room."

Daniel's eyes narrowed. Something was still off here. "Does he actually know you're coming?"

She hesitated only a fraction of a second too long. "Yes, of course."

No one else would ever have noticed that infinitesimal pause, but Daniel did. "He doesn't, does he? Vala. Why are you waking the poor man up at this ungodly hour to watch some dumb movie?"

"He doesn't mind," Vala said. "He told me I could."

"When was this exactly?"

Her gaze dropped to the floor. "After Athena."

It was the last thing he'd ever expected to hear. "Athena? What, when you were kidnapped? But that was a couple of years ago!"

She shrugged. "I know. But once my memories returned, I started having nightmares. I mean, I've always had them occasionally, but these were really bad. That stupid machine they hooked me up to dredged up all sorts of crap. And I didn't want to see your Dr. Hutchinson about them. Muscles is here, he found out about them, and he told me to wake him up any time. We usually end up watching movies, so I've started bringing snacks."

For more than _two years_ she'd struggled with horrible nightmares and he hadn't known? Daniel felt like he'd been slugged in the gut. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why would I?"

"Vala! I'm your _friend._ I care about you! You should let me help you."

"You do help. All those times I've come in your office at weird hours. Even when we argued, it was a distraction and it was better than going back to bed."

He had argued with her a lot on those occasions, he thought guiltily. She'd come bounding in, hair sticking up every which way and smile fixed in place, distracting him from the work he was trying to do...distracting him in other ways too. And in his irritation he'd never once stopped to consider _why_ she barged in on him.

Damn, he could be a self-absorbed ass at times.

"Look, let's just let Teal'c sleep tonight, okay?" He wrapped an arm around her, steering her in the opposite direction. "I'll hang out with you however long you need."

"Daniel, you don't have to-"

"Hush. I know I don't have to. I want to. Now come on. What's your favorite movie?" He couldn't resist a sly grin. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

Vala made a growl in the back of throat, and Daniel thought it might just be the sexiest thing he'd ever heard. But he made a show of rolling his eyes as he led her through the corridors of the SGC.

And from that point on, Vala rarely needed to wake up Teal'c when her nightmares struck.

###

 _Present day_

Vala scowled at her reflection in the mirror. Her roots were starting to show. If she wanted to remain a blonde, she'd need to touch them up and soon.

Or she could just return to her natural color. A box of black hair dye probably wouldn't be hard to come by.

Daniel's Vala had black hair, usually worn in pigtails. She _loved_ being Daniel's Vala.

But she hadn't really been her for a long time now, and going back to that was a hell of a lot more complicated than her hair color.

Bryce's Val had blond hair, usually clipped back from her face. And though she'd never fully been the person he'd thought her to be, there was still some Val in her. Parts of that persona rang very true.

And there was no denying that those years away had shaped her, changed her. She wasn't the same person she'd been way back on Matthias' ship. And going back to black hair wouldn't make her so.

Deciding that it was too early in the morning to be deciding such things, Vala called Bryce instead.

"Val!" It boosted her ego how happy he always was to hear from her. She wondered if the next time they had leave she could convince the team to visit New York. It would be a blast having them there. And she could see Bryce. She did miss him.

Bryce filled her in on the various goings-on in the city, and Vala gave him a highly censored update on her work with military security systems. They discussed her upcoming move and Cameron's rather grandiose plans for her housewarming party.

"You will be here for that?" Vala asked.

"You know I wouldn't miss it. Got the flights and my hotel room already booked."

She frowned. "Hotel room? Whatever for? You know you can stay with me."

He chuckled dryly. "Yes, I know, but I don't think your Daniel would care too much for that, do you?"

Okay, so that was fair. Bryce was definitely a sore spot for Daniel. But still..."That doesn't matter. I don't care what he thinks."

"Oh, come off it, Val. You know you do. _I_ know you do. And I won't be the one getting between you two. That was our deal."

Vala blew out a frustrated breath. "But I _want_ you there."

"I know." Bryce's voice softened. "And if you really end up needing me, you know I'll come. But from all you've told me, I think you guys still have a chance to work things out. I don't want to be the reason you don't. And I certainly don't want to be your excuse."

Damn the man. Vala made a face at the phone, knowing he couldn't see her. "I hate you sometimes."

At that, he laughed outright. "I know, dear. Love you too."

###

Cameron Mitchell knew how to plan a housewarming party.

They'd gotten all of her belongings into the apartment earlier in the week. Vala had gotten a bed and a couch delivered, but her CO had forbidden to purchase anything else. "That's what a housewarming is _for_ , Vala. We're going to buy you all sorts of stuff. So don't get anything else until you see what you actually need after we're done, okay?"

It was a little overwhelming, really.

And somehow he'd managed to get everyone important to her to come. Bryce had flown in, as had Jack O'Neill. Cameron's parents were there. Even Samantha had worked it out to come. Plus loads of the SGC personnel. Vala wasn't honestly sure how everyone would fit; she loved her apartment, but it wasn't that big. But Cameron waved a dismissive hand and assured her they'd figure it out somehow.

She supposed it was easier since she didn't have much furniture yet.

The evening would have been perfect if Cute Ginger hadn't shown up. Who the hell had invited _her_? Certainly Cameron wouldn't have. How could Daniel?

To add insult to injury, Cute Ginger (whose name was Lauren, apparently) had excellent taste and was generous to boot. She'd brought several nice gifts, all of them things Vala would have picked out herself. Vala glared at a dinnerware set, wishing she could accept Lauren's offer of a gift receipt and exchange them for something else. But there wouldn't be anything else in the whole damn store Vala loved as much as these particular dishes.

It was terribly annoying.

But Bryce stayed right next to her, a steady, comforting presence. She might have been more soothed by the gesture if Cute Ginger (fine, _Lauren_ ) didn't remain just as glued to Daniel's side.

Later, after most of the party guests had wished her well and left, Vala's closest friends were still there, helping to sort and put away. There was a _lot_ to sort and put away. But eventually it got too late even for the smaller group.

The Mitchells left first, with the very pregnant Carolyn claiming exhaustion.

"Hey, listen." Bryce nudged her. "I'm gonna go, okay? I think you've got things well under control here."

"Oh, why are you leaving? There are still people here!"

Bryce jerked his chin toward the corner, where Daniel and Jack were ostensibly putting together a bookshelf. However, they seemed deep in a conversation that had nothing to do with shelf construction at all. "Because he's lost his buffer, so I think you should probably lose yours too. Might help the two of you enormously."

"Jack is just as capable of being a buffer as Cute Ginge-as _Lauren_ ," Vala said.

"Sure he is. But I daresay he and Sam will be leaving soon. They have a kid and a babysitter to get back to. You don't really think that shelf's going up tonight, do you?"

Vala looked at the two again. "No. Not really."

"You see? Best I make myself scarce."

"Daniel will probably leave when the others do."

"You might be right. But I don't think you are. I think you two need to hash things out, and I think he's ready. So I'm clearing out and giving you a chance."

"I really do hate you."

Bryce laughed and kissed the top of her head. "I know. I've learned to live with it."

He left, and sure enough Samantha and Jack decided to go shortly after, taking Teal'c with them. Only Daniel remained.

Their eyes met, and Daniel flashed her an almost bashful smile, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. "Great party, huh? For a Kansas boy, Mitchell sure has that southern hospitality stuff down pat."

"Are we sure he's actually from Kansas?" Okay, so it was a weak attempt at a joke, but suddenly Vala was nervous. The air was charged with something and she wasn't sure what. Or even if she was ready for whatever it was.

Daniel gave a faint smile, but he seemed nervous too, and somehow that made her feel better. Maybe they could do this. Might as well try. "Listen, I know there's a coffeemaker and some coffee in the kitchen somewhere, and I'm pretty sure Wendy left pie. You want some?"

He brightened. "Yeah, that'd be great. Then maybe you and I can get this shelf up since Jack and Sam had to go."

"Okay, deal." Vala headed for the kitchen.

It took some rummaging, but she finally located coffee supplies. The pie was much easier to find and looked as good as she'd figured on Cute Ginger's plates. Vala headed back into the living room with plates and mugs. Her breath caught.

Daniel was crouched on the floor in front of the toolbox Jack had left, studying the bookshelf assembly instructions...and giving her a perfect view of his rather delectable backside. Her mouth went dry.

Oh, she was in so much trouble.


	9. Who Needs a Bookshelf Anyway?

**Chapter Nine—Who Needs a Bookshelf Anyway?**

The shelf was definitely not going up tonight.

They settled on the couch with their pie and coffee, and Daniel said, "So tell me about New York. I don't have great memories of it, but I bet it was your kind of place, huh?"

"I _loved_ it. A whole city full of interesting people and fun things to do. I never, ever got bored." She hesitated, then said, "I'd love to take you-the whole team really-and show you the sights."

"I've seen most of the sights, but yeah-I'd like to see them with you." His eyes met hers, something soft and enigmatic in his expression. Vala felt the air almost crackle between them and swallowed hard.

Maybe they _did_ need to put that shelf up. Because she needed a diversion, and fast.

But before Vala could even mention the tools and instructions waiting for them in the corner, Daniel was talking again, asking her about her favorite New York haunts, prodding her to share the details of the more than four years she'd spent in the city.

And for whatever crazy reason-she answered him. She talked about bars and nightclubs, about huge department stores and funky little shops, about fancy restaurants and fun cafes. She even admitted to visiting museums and filled him in on exhibits she loved. He was delighted. "We'll definitely see those when we go." When, he said. Not if.

What in the worlds was happening between them tonight?

More importantly, what did she want to do about it?

###

Daniel listened with pleasure to the lilt of Vala's voice. _It had worked._ She was talking...really talking. Sure, it was about New York, but it was a start.

A start had been exactly what he was hoping for.

Really, he wanted a _fresh_ start-a chance to try again. To do it right this time. He didn't know if Vala was ready for that, but she was here and she was talking. For now, that was enough. They could figure out the rest later.

"Would you like more coffee?" Vala asked.

"Sure," he replied. "But stay put; I'll get it." He headed toward her kitchen. The coffee supplies were still out, and he eyed the bottle of good whisky Mitchell had brought, also sitting on the counter. Tempting to add a splash to their cups, see if that loosened Vala up a little more. But no, that would backfire. Alcohol didn't really affect her much anyway, and he'd probably fall asleep. He carried two cups of undoctored coffee back to the living room.

To his disappointment, Vala was rummaging through the toolbox. Maybe he should've refused the coffee or at least have let her get it.

But it was possible she'd just reached her limit of personal sharing and needed a bit of break. Knowing how often he'd pushed too hard in the past and wanting to do better now, he knelt next to her. "So what's our first step?"

Without looking up from the tools, she handed him the instructions. "Find the piece that looks like that picture."

They worked in silence for a few minutes then suddenly Vala said, "So tell me about Lauren. Muscles and Cameron didn't seem to know much about her."

Daniel stared at her in surprise, his eyebrows raised. "Uh, well, okay. She's a linguist. Not on any off-world teams, so they really wouldn't have reason to interact with her much, I guess. I haven't worked with her a whole lot either; we specialize in different areas. But when SG-8 brought back part of a legal code from P5X-218, we were assigned to work together to translate it." He hesitated then plowed ahead. "I'm sorry for bringing her to the restaurant that night then not even having the courtesy to introduce her. Mitchell and Teal'c both got on my case about that."

"I didn't tell them to."

"No, I know. But they were right. And I'm sorry."

She gave a little shrug, still refusing to look at him. There was another stretch of silence before she spoke again. "So were you 'two friends and coworkers out to dinner' that night or...more?"

"Oh, um...more like two associates and coworkers out to dinner, really. I don't know her all that well. But we'd been working right up until it was time for me to leave, and then it just...seemed like a good idea to bring her." He thought of the words he'd inadvertently overheard Bryce say. "A buffer, I guess."

"And that's why she came tonight as well?"

He felt his face heating up. "Well, no, not exactly. She, uh, asked to come tonight."

"I see."

Daniel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, I don't think you do."

"It isn't that hard to figure out, darling. You _are_ rather attractive, you know. She's clearly after you."

"She clearly isn't. I'm not her type."

Vala snorted. "Well, I think she decided to make an exception."

"No. I mean I'm _really_ not her type." Daniel sheepishly met her gaze. "You are."

"What?"

"She's after _you_ , Vala. Not me." He mimicked her words. "You _are_ rather attractive, you know."

Daniel could almost see her brain trying to assimilate this new information…and failing. "She didn't leave your side the whole evening!"

"Oh, she did. Whenever she saw an opportunity to get by yours. Which, granted, wasn't as often as she'd have liked because of Bryce." He tried to keep the bitterness from his voice when he spoke the name; he really did.

He didn't think he was all that successful.

Thankfully Vala didn't seem to notice. She was muttering to herself. "How odd. Usually I'm so much better at picking up on these things."

Daniel took his biggest gamble of the evening. This could backfire _so_ badly. But he had to try. "Maybe your perception was...clouded? By your own feelings?" He held his breath.

Shocked gray eyes flew to his. He could almost see her temptation to bolt. She was going to explode, tell him he was an ass, and kick him out. He braced himself.

And then her shoulders sagged a bit, and she looked away. "Perhaps."

"It's okay," he told her softly. "Mine was too. For the same reason."

That brought her back around. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, Vala. You can't tell me you haven't noticed how I feel about Bryce."

"No. I can't tell you that. You've been fairly obvious about it."

"Haven't you wondered _why_ that is?"

She swallowed hard. "Because you thought he was after me?"

"After you? No. I thought he _had_ you. Done deal. I thought you two were together."

"Even when I left him to come back here?"

Well, when she put it like that… "Yes. Long distance relationships aren't uncommon in the military. Look at Jack and Sam."

"Mm."

Silence descended again, heavy and awkward. But neither of them even pretended to work on the bookshelf; they just sat, staring at the floor.

Finally Vala spoke. "I don't understand. You don't want me with Bryce, but Lauren's okay?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"You brought Lauren tonight because she asked to come. Because she's 'after' me. And apparently you're okay with that. Why?"

"Oh, that. Well, I didn't figure it out right away. I mean, I already told you I don't know her well. Until that night at dinner, we'd never talked about anything more than the translation work we were doing." He shrugged. "When she asked to come along tonight, I didn't think much of it. We got along well enough at the restaurant." He gave a self-deprecating laugh. "Then she dragged me shopping with her, wanting help picking out stuff you'd like."

Vala stared at him for a long moment, then burst out laughing. "Oh, darling. She actually wanted your help to hit on me? The poor girl. I mean, you picked out fabulous stuff, don't get me wrong, but other than that…"

"I know. I'm lousy at this sort of thing."

"A bit, yeah." But Vala was smiling, her eyes sparkling with amusement. Daniel felt himself smile in response.

He'd always thought a _real_ Vala smile was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen.

Unable to resist, he reached out to cup her face. She leaned into his touch, still smiling. And he was a goner.

There were a hundred reasons this was a bad a idea. And there were a hundred things they needed to talk over, straighten out. But Daniel found he just did not care at the moment, not with that look in her eyes and that soft smile on her face. He was capable of talking a problem to death anyway; he'd done so many times over the years. Maybe that wasn't what they needed right now.

So running a thumb along her cheekbone, he leaned forward. She inhaled sharply but met him halfway, wrapping an arm around his neck as their lips came together. The kiss was tentative at first, but heat quickly sprang between them. Vala made that noise he loved in the back of her throat as he deepened the kiss.

And then Vala took control, pulling him closer as she tangled her tongue with his. He ran his hands down her back and then lower, massaging her ass as he pulled her closer still. She growled again, and it went straight to his groin—a fact not unnoticed by Vala. She ground herself into him.

He left her lips to trail hot kisses down her throat then blaze a path along her collarbone. He felt her hands moving under his shirt and groaned with pleasure as her palm rubbed across his chest.

And then her mouth was attacking his again. And she was pushing him backward to the floor. Daniel had a brief thought that perhaps the couch or her bed would be more comfortable, but then Vala's hand found its way inside his pants, and he decided it really didn't matter much.

 _A/N: No, this won't solve all their problems. They actually need to TALK next chapter-and they will. And no, there will be no smutty details beyond what's here-use your own imagination. ;) (I'm leaving this rated T for now, but let me know if you think it should be higher.)_


	10. Home at Last

Oh, my gosh. I cannot even apologize enough for how ridiculously late this update is. Over a year? Really, Kehwie? If anyone is even still reading, I am sorry. Suffice it to say that real life is a PITA. And this story, for all intents and purposes, is done. I have a short epilogue, just to tie up a few loose ends, but the important bits end with this chapter.

 **Chapter Ten—Home at Last**

"I'm sorry."

Cold dread clenched Vala's stomach as she lifted her head to squint at him. After coming together almost frantically on her living room floor, they had moved to her bedroom for a slower, more tender round of lovemaking. She'd drifted off to Daniel kissing her forehead and whispering, "Just sleep, sweetheart. We'll figure out the rest in the morning." It had all made the feel so cherished, so adored. Was he now going to say the whole thing had been a terrible mistake? "For what?" Drat, she hadn't quite kept her voice from shaking. Maybe he wouldn't notice.

Daniel laughed bitterly. "Are you kidding me? Where do I even start? I'm sorry I've been such a dick about Bryce. You don't deserve that. Neither does he probably. I'm sorry I acted like an ass the day you found this place. I'm sorry I've spent so much time avoiding you. Hell, I'm sorry for the whole last five years."

"I think we all have regrets regarding that last one."

"Sure, but the whole thing was my fault."

What was he on about? "I rather think the whole thing was Matthias's fault. And maybe mine a bit. I'm the one who didn't come back as soon as I got away from him."

"Exactly. And why didn't you? Because you didn't think you'd be welcome. Because even after all the time you'd been a member of the team, you thought we still didn't trust you-that we'd actually _believe_ you betrayed us."

"That still sounds like my beliefs, my decisions, my choices. I fail to see how you're to blame for those."

"Do you remember that day we found you, how Mitchell apologized for failing as your team leader? I was your _boyfriend,_ Vala _._ We'd been together more than two years by then. And in all that time, I somehow never managed to show you how much I...how much you mean to me."

Vala lifted her hand to his cheek. "Oh, Daniel, darling...no. Don't think of it like that. At the risk of using one of your Tau'ri cliches, it wasn't you. It was me."

He snorted. "Ah, no. I don't think so."

"I mean it, Daniel," she said. "You know how I lived before coming here. People like Matthias were all I knew. If I had actually cared enough to save any of my previous associates, I assure you they'd have believed my betrayal and hated me for it."

"And in all that time we never managed to convince you we were any different." Daniel shook his head in frustration.

"Of course you were different! That's what intrigued me about you in the first place. I couldn't get you out of my head after our little adventure on the _Prometheus_. You didn't make sense to me, and I wanted to know more. I know I infuriated you with the kor mak bracelets, and I know I was wrong to trap you with them, but I can't really regret it. The more I got to know you-all of you-the more I wanted to belong here."

"You _do_ belong. That's partly why Mitchell was so gungho about this housewarming party—he wanted you to know that, to believe that. But you belonged before. From the moment you came back from the Ori galaxy and chose to stop running, you've belonged here. We just did a lousy job of showing it."

Vala nestled herself against his side again. "You didn't. Really."

She didn't think he believed her fully, but he tightened his arms around her and kissed her temple. At least he was letting the matter drop for now. Knowing Daniel, that didn't mean he wouldn't continue to wallow in his perceived guilt. The man could be so _broody._

But there was really no reason for him to bear all the blame. So many things had gone wrong back then. She'd never once considered any of it to be his fault.

Of course, if he wanted to buy her lots of expensive presents to atone for his supposed misdeeds, she wouldn't protest. She wasn't _stupid_.

Silence reigned for a few minutes as they lay snuggled together. Vala listened to the steady thrum of Daniel's heartbeat and was on the verge of going back to sleep when her stomach gave a loud rumble.

Daniel laughed. "Guess we oughtta feed you. I don't suppose you have stuff to make pancakes?"

"Actually I do. I grocery shopped earlier in the week—just a few basics. And Jack brought bacon." Her grin turned teasing. "And I think your Cute Ginger brought some good maple syrup."

"She isn't _my_ Cute Ginger." Daniel sounded adorably grumpy—exactly what she'd been going for. "But all right. I'll make pancakes and fry up some bacon if you'll get the coffee going."

"Can't beat that deal." Vala bounded from the bed.

Her kitchen was small, but it made for a delightful time "accidentally" bumping into each other as they worked. And as they ate they teased and flirted and played footsie. It was relaxed, cozy, _fun_. All the things Vala had thought she'd never have again.

They were cleaning up when Vala's cell rang. She glanced at it. Bryce. Damn, what horrible timing. She chewed her thumb, knowing that answering might send Daniel back into moody grouchland. Maybe it would be better just to ignore it?

But as much as they might wish otherwise, the last five years had happened. Bryce was a part of her life now whether Daniel liked it or not. If they were to have any chance of getting back together, he'd have to deal with that. She picked up the phone.

"Since I didn't hear from you last night, I assume Daniel either left with the others or that if he stayed you two were able to make some progress?"

Her gaze drifted to Daniel, scrubbing furiously at a pan at the sink. "Oh, I'd say we definitely made progress."

Bryce laughed softly. "Ho, boy. He's still there, isn't he?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Then I'll let you go before I ruin it for you. Listen, just call me when you get a chance, okay? I don't want to leave without saying goodbye."

"You better not. I'd never forgive you."

"No, I won't, I promise. And I don't fly out till tomorrow anyway, so we've got time. Val—I'm really happy for you."

"I know. Thanks, love. Talk to you later." She ended the call.

Daniel had grown visibly tenser over the last several minutes. Vala sighed. She had no desire whatsoever to _talk,_ but clearly they needed to address the matter of Bryce. Daniel now knew that Bryce wasn't her boyfriend, but something about him obviously still bugged her grumpy archaeologist. "Daniel?"

He looked up. "Hey. Uh, Bryce doing okay this morning?"

"Yes." She moved toward him, her eyes never leaving his. "He's very happy for us."

"Oh. Well. That, uh, good I guess."

"Daniel…" She drew out the name.

He sagged a bit and dropped his head. "Sorry. But even though Lauren isn't my 'Cute Ginger,' Bryce _definitely_ is your…well, whatever he is." He lifted his gaze. "What _is_ he, Vala? Where does he fit in all this?"

"He's my _friend_ , Daniel. For the past few years I thought he was the only one I had!"

"I _get_ that. And I hate it! I hate that you thought we'd just abandon you. But the way you two act... _was_ he your boyfriend? Even if he isn't now?"

"No. That's never been who we are. He took me in when I had nowhere to go and helped me get started with the hacking. But we've always been just friends." She made a face. "'Just friends.' That's a terrible phrase, you know. If I've learned anything from the Tau'ri, it's that friendship isn't some mere, inconsequential thing. It _matters_. But no, we've never been romantically involved."

"It just seems like there's...more between the two of you."

Vala bit her lip. "Well...I won't lie, Daniel. We did have sex sometimes. I'd get bored or lonely and if he wasn't seeing someone at the time, he was willing. You know I don't do celibacy well. The only time I've ever managed it was when I was holding out for you. Once I thought you weren't an option anymore..." She trailed off with a shrug.

"Friends with benefits, huh?" Daniel sounded bitter.

"I suppose so, yes."

He stayed silent for a long time then expelled a noisy breath. "Okay. I hate the circumstances that brought you two together, but I _am_ glad you had someone. And I know he's important to you, so I'll try to stop being a jerk where he's concerned. He, ah, seems like a good guy."

"He is, Daniel. I think you'd like him if you gave him a chance." She wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his chest. "And he is important to me. Thank you for understanding that."

"Yeah." He chuckled slightly. "I'd say 'no problem,' but you know..."

"I know. I wasn't fond of Cute Ginger either."

" _So_ not the same."

"Sure, but I didn't know that."

"Mm. I suppose."

Vala stayed quiet for a while, listening to Daniel's heartbeat thrum in her ear. Should she lay all of her emotional cards on the table? It might settle any lingering doubts about Bryce, but it would also lay her deepest self bare before him. She wasn't sure she was ready to do that.

And who even knew that Daniel would be ready to hear it? She knew how slow he liked to take things. Okay, they'd thrown slow right through a wormhole by jumping into bed before ironing out details, but their first relationship had proceeded at a slug's pace. They'd evolved so gradually from friends to dating to lovers that she still wasn't 100% certain where all the lines of demarcation were. She didn't want to scare him off now, going too deep too soon.

"So what should we do with the rest of our day?" Daniel asked. "Any big plans? I assume you'll want to see Bryce at some point. I know he's come a long way to visit."

Vala nodded. "Yes. He doesn't fly out until tomorrow, but I do want to see him later. Other than that, I'm flexible."

Daniel smirked. "Yes, I know you are."

"Would you care for another demonstration?"

He laughed. "No, I'm not as young as I used to be. Ask me again later."

"Mm, I most definitely will."

"Looking forward to it."

They showered and dressed and settled on the couch. Well, Daniel settled on the couch; Vala settled on Daniel's lap. But he wasn't complaining, so she assumed it was fine.

He ran a hand up and down her back. "We should probably clear up one or two more things."

Vala groaned, dropping her head to his shoulder. "Really, Daniel? Haven't we covered all the important stuff?"

"Maybe. Probably? I just don't want to screw this up."

"You won't. Just relax, darling. We'll be fine."

"Vala, I almost lost you. It was a damn fluke Jack and Sam were at that awards dinner to hear Bryce screw up. I don't want to take the chance that something will go wrong, and you'll be gone again."

"I only left in the first place to keep you safe! You make it sound like I ran off with Matthias for the fun of it."

"I know you didn't. I just want to be sure you know to always come back home to me."

Vala stared at him, taking in his earnest expression. The last of her fears melted. This was real. Daniel Jackson really wanted _her_ , for always. "I promise, my Daniel. As long as you want me, I will always, always come back." She spoke the words she'd held back earlier. "You should know something. You asked if Bryce and I had been together. We weren't, but if we had been it wouldn't matter. I would have chosen you. Given the chance, I'd always choose you. You...you're my Sha're."

"I'm your _what?_ "

"My Sha're. You know, the one great love of your life. The one no one else could possibly compare to."

"Uh, thank you? But...you think Sha're is all that to me?"

"Of course, silly. Who else could it be? I know you were with Janet for a while, and I know you dated Sarah. There were probably others I don't know about. But they don't really compare with Sha're, do they?"

"Er, no, I suppose not." He looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry."

Again? "What for now?"

He snorted in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? Vala, somehow I've managed to screw up every single aspect of our relationship. Here I am, the almighty linguist, and I can't communicate a damn thing where you're concerned."

"What in the worlds are you talking about?"

"You want the whole list? Fine. We lost five freaking _years_ because you thought we'd actually believe you betrayed us. And as much as I hate that you thought that of Mitchell and Teal'c, the fact that you thought _I'd_ buy it? How much did I suck as a boyfriend if you could think that?" She opened her mouth to speak, but he ignored her and plowed on. "And then you come home and because I thought you were with Bryce, I behave like an utter asshole. I thought I'd lost you, and I thought I could make it hurt less. It didn't work, and I ended up hurting you too. It seems I'm always hurting you somehow."

"That's not-"

"And to top it all off, apparently I've managed to make you think that Sha're was the be-all and end-all of my existence. That no one else could possibly mean to me what she did. Including you!"

"Daniel, stop! It's fine. I've always known that Sha're was special, and I don't begrudge you that…"

"Shut up, Vala. I'm sorry, but please just shut up. I need to get this out." He cupped her face. "I love you, okay? I. Love. You. You mean _everything_ to me, and I'm sorry I've done such a piss-poor job of showing it. I swear I'll do better. But right now I need you to believe me- _you_ are my Sha're."

"What?"

"Using your definition. You are the love of my life, and I choose you. You're my Sha're."

"You don't have to-"

"No, sweetheart, _listen_. I know you've heard from everybody and their brother how long I searched for her, how hard I fought to save her, how much it hurt to lose her in the end. That's all true. And I loved her with as much depth and passion as I was capable of at that point in my life, and I grieved her for a hell of a long time. She'll always hold a piece of my heart, and I cherish the memories I have of our time together."

Again Vala tried to speak and again Daniel cut her off. "I'm not done yet. Losing Sha're was one of the hardest things I've ever experienced. I suppose I'll always mourn her a bit. But dammit, Vala! I searched just as hard for you. I fought just as much to find you and save you. I missed you, _longed_ for you, every damn day. And if Mitchell had been right, if Matthias really had killed you?" He shook his head, his voice cracking. "I would've been devastated. I don't even know how I would've coped with that. I don't think I could have."

He drew a deep breath. "You've probably heard the phrase 'you don't know what you've got until it's gone.' That was true for me. I knew I loved you. I knew I was happy with you. But I didn't realize just how much I was holding myself back. Still playing it safe. Still trying to protect my heart. Then you were gone, and I realized what a fool I'd been. It didn't even _help_."

"Daniel, I've always known you cared about me. I don't think I can even adequately communicate what your belief in me has meant. I just wasn't sure I'd be enough for you. You're the best man I've ever known, and you deserve so much better than me."

"I don't. I really, really don't. But even if I did, I don't care. I don't want it. I want _you_. I love _you_ , Vala Mal Doran." He laughed shortly. "I always wondered if I'd be enough for you. I figured you'd get bored with me and move on. Or find out just how serious I was about you and get spooked."

"Never. You're stuck with me, darling."

He smiled, a blissful, beautiful smile that did funny things to her insides. "I've never been so lucky." He took her hands in his. "Turns out I was the one running anyway. Running from myself. Running from everything I feel for you. I'd been doing it so long it was almost second nature to me. But that's over now. It's time to stop running. It's time for me to come home. And you, Vala Mal Doran, are my home. Always."


	11. Epilogue

A/N: Thank you so much if you're still reading! (I started this thing in 2016. It was never supposed to take this long. If you're still here, you deserve all the cookies.) This is the end. Superfluous, probably, but it pleased me to have kind of a "bookend" to the prologue. And since I'm the writer... ;)

 **Epilogue**

 _About a year later…_

She stared at the laptop screen in fascination. A tricky one. How long had it been since she'd had a tricky one?

"Any luck?" Cameron asked from the lounge chair beside her.

"Not so far. I'm impressed. Someone's very, very good."

"Yeah, well, once in a while you've gotta _earn_ that fancypants office and nice fat paycheck, you know." Cameron cracked open a beer. "You want one, or no since you're still on the clock? I mean, we're at your house, so I'm not gonna tell if you do."

Her house. The words gave Vala pause for a moment. She had a _house_ now. Except for the brief time with Tomin, she hadn't lived in a house since was a little girl.

And she hadn't had family since her mother died. She didn't count Jacek. Or Adria-either Adria. But now her back deck was filled with people who loved her, trusted her, would always be there for her. Cameron had told her not to expect this housewarming to be as good as the last one, but he'd been lying his ass off when he said it. (Of course he'd also told her he wasn't moving her crap _again_ then proceeded to move the majority of it. Carolyn had laughed at him.)

Vala stole a quick sip of his beer. "Give me five minutes. I'm going to figure this out."

"I know you will." He grinned mischievously. "I'll time you."

Oh, it was on. Vala stuck out her tongue at him and returned to her work. What was going on here?

But ten minutes later, she finally had it. She reached for Cameron's beer sitting next to her and drained it. She frowned at him. "What have you been doing all this time? There was more of that left than there should've been."

"Darlin', mine's _gone_. That was yours. I grabbed it for you five minutes ago, when you were _supposed_ to be done."

"Oh, so you think you could've done it faster?"

"Hell, no. I understand what you do about as much as I understand Sam's research."

She laughed and stood up to stretch. "Which is to say not at all." Her gaze drifted over to the barbecue. Jack was flipping burgers, while Daniel and Bryce appeared to be locked in some sort of heated debate. Heaven only knew what about. After their rocky start, the two of them had discovered they rather enjoyed each other's company.

Well, that wasn't _quite_ true. Really they enjoyed arguing with each other. Their tastes were different when it came to pretty much everything. It amused Vala to no end to hear how passionately they "discussed" various aspects of art, music, and literature. She wondered what they might be going on about now. Whatever it was, Jack seemed entertained. He was probably playing devil's advocate just to egg them on.

Much like she'd be doing if she were over there. And if she and Jack joined forces and egged them on _together_? Well, it didn't get much better than that. It was time she joined them.

"Hey, babe." Daniel's arm slid around her as she kissed his lips and Bryce and Jack's cheeks. "Finally get it?"

"'Finally,'" she huffed. "Honestly, you're as bad as Cameron. None of you would have solved it any quicker-or even at all."

"Ungrateful lot, all of them," Bryce said. "You should ditch 'em and come back to New York with me. _I_ appreciate you."

"Thank you, love. But I don't think this sad bunch could cope without me, do you?"

"I watched Danny try," Jack said. "It wasn't pretty, believe me. You shouldn't do that to him again."

"Very funny. Like you'd be any better if it were Sam."

"Carter's gone most of the time on the _Hammond_ ," Jack pointed out. "New York's a hell of a lot closer than…" He glanced at Bryce and amended his words. "...than where the _Hammond_ is usually deployed."

Bryce rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. Like I'm going to tell anyone the location of your super-secret ship or sub or whatever."

An awkward silence descended. Vala couldn't believe that she was _still_ having to keep this stuff from Bryce. She had half a mind just to blurt something out and deal with the consequences. Better to ask forgiveness than permission and all that.

Daniel apparently could see it on her face and shot her a warning look, which just made her want to do it all the more. Didn't he know that by now?

And then it dawned on her. He _did_ know it. They'd even discussed it recently, in fact. He was very much aware that when he tried to rein her in like some kind of damn child, it raised her hackles and made her _more_ likely to do whatever it was. Maybe it was immature of her, but whatever.

The point was Daniel _knew_ it. So right now something else had to be going on.

Was he actually giving her permission to clue Bryce in but doing so in a way that maintained plausible deniability for all of them?

She sneaked a glance to Jack. Yes, he was in on it too. It was all a beautiful setup, orchestrated just for her.

She couldn't love any of them more if she tried.

"He's got a point," she said, casually. "Who's he going to tell?"

"Vala…" Daniel spoke with just the right level of warning growl. Man, he was good. No one could ever claim he hadn't _tried_ to stop her.

Vala pinned her biggest, toothiest grin on her face and leaned toward Bryce, ignoring Daniel's weak attempt to hold her back. "You wouldn't want to tell anyone where the _Hammond_ was anyway-they'd all think you were wonko. Because the truth is…"

The truth was Vala had a home now, and family enough to fill it. A huge, mixed-up, dysfunctional family to be sure, but they were all _hers_ , and no one was going to take that from her again.

There really was no place like home.

END


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